Repeat
by sakurademonalchemist
Summary: Naruko, the blond Rokudaime of Konoha, is sick of Madara throwing her into the past every time she's about to defeat him. However after five 'repeats', the Fox has had enough and decides to interfere. Now she's been thrown farther into the past than ever before, and given a chance to change the future. Can Naruko stop Madara before he throws her back again? Naru/Itachi
1. A slight change in history

Things had gone downhill. Rin had been captured and Kakashi wasn't planning to rescue her. Obito had just told him that he believed Kakashi's father, the White Fang, was a true hero...when it happened.

Right above them a swirling vortex opened up and someone started to fall. Kakashi just barely caught a glimpse of the Leaf symbol before he jumped up and caught the person.

"OW! MOTHER... THAT HURT YOU DAMN UCHIHA!" roared the blond.

The blond managed to sit up on the water, growling about '_stupid sharingan_' and '_I outta teach that stupid Uchiha a damn lesson about using that on me for the fifth time_'.

Needless to say the pissed off grumblings made no sense to the two.

"Who are you?" demanded Kakashi.

The blond girl had quite a few scuff marks, and her outfit was entirely orange and black. She had whisker like markings on her cheeks, and the Uzumaki clan symbol handing from her ears. Around her neck was the Konoha hitai ate and she wore it like a choker. She had a necklace with a green stone that hung loosely beneath it. Her shorts didn't even reach her knees, and her kunai and shuriken pouch were firmly around her legs. It was when she opened her eyes that Obito gasped.

They were identical to their sensei's, and just as warm. If it wasn't for the pigtails and breasts, he would have claimed it was a younger Minato.

"Who are you?" he demanded again.

"Uzumaki Naruko. What year is it?"

Kakashi blinked at the odd question, but answered her anyway.

"Huh...that's the farthest I've been thrown."

"What was that swirling vortex?" demanded Kakashi.

Naruko's expression turned to one of extreme irritation.

"The damn Uchiha's time travel jutsu. I hate it when he uses it on me and I keep having to get back to the same skill level only to be thrown again! Every damn time it's the same thing!" she growled.

"Ano...None of the Uchiha has a jutsu like that," said Obito.

"The Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan, may that dried up zombie burn in Amaterasu's holy fire, can manipulate time. It's a real pain in the ass, and I usually end up in my genin days or worse, Academy."

"And how many times has that happened?" asked Kakashi, not believing it for a minute.

"Five, if you count this one. Where the hell are we anyway?"

"We're supposed to be destroying a bridge," said Kakashi blandly.

Naruko stopped and looked hard at the two of them.

"Is this the middle of the Iwa-Konoha War? Before Minato Namikaze becomes the Yondaime?" she asked seriously.

"Yes...?" said Kakashi. As far as he knew, Minato was a candidate and not the Hokage just yet.

The grin on her face scared him. It really did.

"Oh this is PERFECT! I can finally keep that bastard from hitting me with that damn jutsu anymore, dattebayo!"

"Could someone explain what the hell is going on?" asked Obito.

"I'll explain when we rescue that kunoichi of yours," said Naruko grinning evilly.

Obito jumped up, reminded of Rin. When Kakashi was about to tell her they weren't going to save Rin, Naruko fixed him with such a strange stare that any protest died on his lips before they could form.

It was like she didn't find the suggestion open to discussion. For some reason he didn't want to disappoint her, and he had no idea why. It was like looking at Minato-sensei.

Obito followed Kakashi's lead, since he was the tracker. Naruko followed in silence, her wounds vanishing the longer they ran. Despite the orange outfit, Kakashi had the damnedest time sensing her presence. It was baffling!

Naruko hung behind and allowed events to go like they did before. Obito awakened his Sharingan and Kakashi lost his left eye. It was when they went inside that she really knew that her time had come. When the man went to bring the cave collapsing in on them, Naruko came from behind and used her Rasengan to blast his head off before he could get the jutsu off.

Kakashi stared at the swirling orb of death. He had seen that in the hands of only one other. The similarities between her and Minato were becoming far, far too strong to be ignored for too long.

"Let's blow this place. Don't you have a bridge to destroy?" she asked with a foxlike grin.

Rin was still in shock, so she didn't ask who the new girl was.

Obito was worried about Kakashi, because his eye was ruined. Finally Naruko had enough of his worried looks, because she rummaged in her bag to pull something out.

"Rin, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, what's it to you?"

"How good are you at on the spot surgery?"

Rin blinked, not expecting that.

"I'm good enough. Why?"

"I happen to have a spare set of eyes that we can replace Kakashi's left one with. And don't ask where they came from because you definitely wouldn't believe my answer. I can guarantee that he won't have any trouble seeing out of it though."

Rin weighed her options. Then she gave the girl a look.

"I swear on my honor that this is not a trick. If anything does go wrong you can have my head and I won't argue. Fair?"

"Deal," said Rin coldly.

Naruko unsealed one of the eyes, and Kakashi carefully removed the bandages. Half and hour later, he slowly opened his new eye. Everything seemed on the level...until he realized Obito was staring at him in absolute shock.

"What?"

"Kakashi...that eye is...!"

"What's wrong with it?" he asked in concern. His jaw dropped underneath his mask when he was handed a mirror.

The eye she had given Rin contained a fully awakened Sharingan.

"Where...Where the hell did you get a Sharingan?!" asked Kakashi.

"Third repeat. The damn Uchiha dropped me off a month into my Academy days, and since there was a sudden increase in spare Sharingan I swiped a few so I could study it in the hopes to keep him from using on me again. It didn't work, but I still have a few eyes left. If I play my cards right the Uchiha clan won't be wiped off the map...again."

"My clan was wiped out...?"

"You were dead years before it happened," said Naruko flatly.

Suddenly she smirked as she felt the spike of rage from where they were. It seemed Madara realized Obito had lived, despite laying that trap for the team. Served him right for all the repeats.

Once they made their way to the bridge, Naruko offered to help. They were more inclined to trust her since she did give Kakashi something as valuable as a Sharingan without once asking for anything in return and she had saved their lives. She didn't seem to care that they had been inclined to hand her over to the Interrogation department because of her abrupt appearance.

Between Obito and Naruko, the bridge was loaded with so many explosive notes that Iwa wouldn't be able to remove them all before it went up.

"KAI!" said Naruko far too eagerly.

* * *

The explosion could be heard all the way to the other battlefield where Minato had just finished off the Iwa nin.

Then he felt another one of his special kunai being thrown, and flew to his team's side.

Only to find himself over a giant gap.

"ACK!"

He grabbed the first thing he could, which happened to be a long chain that was being held by a cackling blond girl.

"Minato-sensei!" cried Rin and Obito in alarm. Kakashi was glaring at the other girl in accusation. It took Minato a moment to realize something was very off about Kakashi's eyes.

Once he was on solid ground, he realized what.

"Kakashi, you have...!"

"Blame her. I lost the other one," said Kakashi sourly.

"I told you the look on his face would be funny Obito-kun!" said the girl, laughing.

"You didn't say a thing about bringing him over the gap!" said Obito panicky, though he had to admit it was funny.

"Puh-lease, it's not like he couldn't have stopped himself by summoning Bunta, dattebayo," said the girl.

"What happened? Who is she and why does Kakashi have a full Sharingan?!"

As one they pointed at the smirking blond, who smirked wider.

"What?"

"We blame you," said Kakashi and Obito in unison.

"Bah, is this the thanks I get for saving your sight Kakashi-chan? Or saving your ass Obito-kun?" she asked.

"You could have compromised us!" said Kakashi.

"You already were when she got captured. I just made sure you _all_ survived," stated the blond flatly.

Obito remembered the comment she made earlier and paled.

"Who the hell are you?"

The grin on her face didn't inspire any confidence, and she gave a standard salute and told him.

"Uzumaki Naruko, Konoha's Rokudaime. At least I was after the first time the jerk sent me back into the past."

"...What?"

"Long story short there is an old geezer who just won't die and is harder to kill than a Jashinist. He has the final stage of the Sharingan and is armed with a pain in the ass jutsu that sends people back in time. He just happens to have a serious grudge against Konoha and hates me with a passion. He gets his kicks forcing me to start over as either a genin or Academy student, and every time I'm about to end him, he throws me back in time," she said flatly.

Minato winced. That did sound annoying.

"Can you prove your story?"

"We might want to find a clearing. Don't think the Boss would like being summoned like I did you," she said.

* * *

"Summoning no Jutsu: Toad!"

Minato was gaping when he saw Gamabunta sitting there, with the cheerful blonde on his head.

"Yo Boss! You won't believe how far back that pain in the ass sent me this time!"

Gamabunta leveled a tired glare at her. He didn't seem irritated at the abrupt summoning.

"_**Alright, let's get on with it already. What's the name of your wallet?"**_

"Gama-chan!" said the girl.

"_**Favorite flavor of Ramen?"**_

"Miso! Especially Ichiraku's!"

"_**Team?"**_

"Bastard and Banshee!" she said with an unholy amount of glee.

"_**First official summoning?"**_

"After Ero-sennin dropped me off the cliff and I summoned you of course!"

"_**Now that we've confirmed it's you, why the hell did you summon me so soon? Last I checked that undead bastard was about to attack Konoha...again...for the fifth time..."**_

"Take a long look down there."

Gamabunta finally noticed the other blond with blue eyes and blinked.

"_**Damn, he really did throw you far back. Since the brat is still alive with both eyes, you must have given him one of your spares,"**_ said the Toad boss.

"Gamabunta...?! But how...?" stammered Minato.

Gamabunta took a good puff from his pipe and said _**"Brat is one of my minions. She has the summoning contract with Toad, Fox and Crow. Naruko Uzumaki, the Number One Unpredictable Knuckle-headed Hokage in the History of Konoha. You may as well trust her Minato, because she's your blood. If you don't have anything for me to do, I'll see you later Naru-chan. Gamakichi will see you in a few years."**_

"You got it Boss!"

Gamabunta went back, and left a shell-shocked Minato and his team behind.

It was Obito who broke the silence.

"That...was sooo COOL!"

Naruko decided to terrify Kakashi because she did her best impersonation of Gai.

"Yosh!"

Complete with teeth and pose. Kakashi shuddered, not knowing why but feeling as those that image would haunt him for years to come.

Naruko's meeting with the Third was interesting to say the least.

* * *

"Hiya Jiji! It's been a while!" she chirped.

After the first repeat, she had learned to take the blow of his death easily. The first repeat, she had done everything in her power to reverse the damage done.

It all went back to the way it was after the second one, and by the third she had learned a few important things. One of which was to take it one day at a time and not care about the future. The second was to have everything she collected or valued on her at all times in a seal, because every repeat had the same odd side effect of having her waking up in her shinobi outfit and anything she had on her. Which was why the third time she had left the village and gone on a three-year long gambling spree and left hundreds of bankrupt casinos before she challenged Madara again and was sent back.

Sarutobi looked at her oddly.

"Minato, since when do you call me Old man?"

Naruko hooked a thumb behind her and Sarutobi dropped his pipe in shock.

"Not Minato. Name's Naruko Uzumaki, Dattebayo."

One short explanation and agreement to wait for a blood test before she was allowed out of the house later, and Naruko was eagerly awaiting the first chance to meet Kushina Uzumaki in person.

Her mother, who she never even got to know.

* * *

"Minato, if you think it's funny to walk around in a henge...!" said Kushina.

The air of righteous fury made Naruko laugh. Clearly she took after her mother more than her father. At the sound of feminine laughter, she realized with a start that it wasn't Minato. Said blond was wisely behind the girl using her as a human shield.

He was quickly disillusioned by a cackling Naruko. (The fourth repeat was spent next to Anko Mitarashi and their reign of terror lasted until this latest debacle when Kyuubi finally interfered with the time jutsu.)

"Minato...Who is this?" asked Kushina. The sweet smile on her face didn't fool anyone, particularly since her hair was starting to split into nine parts.

_'Holy crap, Kyuubi wasn't joking! Her hair _did_ split into nine parts when she was pissed!'_ thought Naruko.

"Kushina, honey, this is Naruko Uzumaki. She appeared out of nowhere while Kakashi and the others were about to destroy the bridge."

"It went up in a _big_ boom!" said Naruko happily.

"How big?" asked Kushina, still giving Naruko odd looks.

"We felt it all the way where we were fighting, and it was easily 1,000 kilometers away in a dense forest," said Minato flatly.

"Five thousand high-powered explosive tags will do that to ya, dattebayo," said Naruko cheerfully.

Kushina gave her an odd look when she heard the verbal tick.

"And who are you?"

"A jounin who appeared without warning and isn't in the records. She's definitely an Uzumaki, because she has the chakra chains you use. She's stuck on house arrest until the blood work confirms it," said Minato quickly.

"What about Interrogation?"

"I already did it with Jiji and Blondie behind me watching. Those guys are real pansies," said Naruko cheerfully.

"Ibiki is one of the best," said Minato.

"Still a pansy. His Interrogation was pretty good for a newbie, but I've dealt with much, much worse."

"I'm about to make some lunch. Care to help?"

"Absolutely!" said Naruko with a grin.

It didn't take long for Kushina to learn she liked the girl, who teased Minato at every chance she got. The two quickly became friends.


	2. Old enemies, New scenario

It was with absolute shock that the blood work came back. Minato had them quadruple check the results and when the tests came back saying the same thing he gave Naruko a shocked look.

"Did you know?"

"After I was told by Tsunade-baa-chan before the first repeat. I didn't even know who my parents were until Jiraiya was killed."

Naruko had learned the hard way that trying to hold onto those she cared about during a repeat only made it more painful. The Third still died, but because of her he went through a lot more pain than before.

"How am I going to tell Kushina?" he despaired.

"Let me. I think she'll take it better if I tell her," said Naruko. This was going to be fun!

Kurama couldn't wait to play the prank on his former container.

* * *

Kushina stared and her finger pointed at Naruko, the girl she viewed as a younger sister. Naruko was grinning with her hands behind her head...a head with a pair of crimson fox ears that were framed by nine long tails behind her.

"WHAT THE HELL!?"

"Chill out Kushina-chan! After all, Kyuubi doesn't hate you nearly as much as you think!" said Naruko, grinning.

"But...How...Why...?"

"I recommend sitting down for this Kushina-chan, it's a sorta long story," said Naruko.

Kushina nearly collapsed on the couch as Naruko explained exactly who she was. When she got to the part of who her parents were, the poor kunoichi was suffering from information overload.

"Who are your parents?"

"Why don't you ask Minato that?" she grinned.

Minato, who had been silent the entire time, glared at her.

He handed Kushina the test results and she did the only sane thing.

She fainted.

She woke up to the smell of Ichiraku ramen and a grinning Naruko...her daughter.

"Why didn't you tell us outright?"

"After the third repeat, I didn't want to get too close to you. Do you have any idea how painful it is to see the people you treasure killed again and again and not being able to do a damn thing about it? Besides, it was funny to see your face," she replied.

Kushina put her hand over her stomach, where the still growing form of her child was. She still couldn't believe the adult form of said child was sitting before her, and in perfect control of the Kyuubi.

"How did you gain control of him?"

"Easily. We both hate the same person. 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend'. After the fourth repeat, I no longer needed to fear him. He's one of my best friends and I wouldn't trade him for the world."

Kushina grinned at her, finally on even ground.

"I always said the only way to temper his rage was with love."

"Or an equal hatred in the same person. Either way, he's awesome...and by the way, he really hates the chains you have him in. He doesn't mind the collar, which is what I've managed to put him in after finally finding a scroll on chakra chains, but he hates being bound."

"Finally? You should have been aware of your heritage before the Academy!"

"I didn't even know who my parents were until the first time Jiraiya died, and then Kakashi had to break it to me that my dad was Minato Namikaze. Coincidentally I have the perfect nickname for the announcement next week," said Naruko grinning.

"Oh ho? You mean the one about the new Hokage?"

"Yup. He's going to get it. Orochimaru was never a good leader, and he's a damn pedo," said Naruko.

"What?"

"Orochimaru of the Sannin has an unhealthy fascination for boys, particularly teens and preteens," Naruko clarified.

"Another problem in the future?"

"He tricked my best friend into abandoning the village and joining him and became an S Class criminal all so he could kill his own brother," said Naruko quietly.

The two talked quietly about their genin teams, which seemed a safe topic up till the point where Naruko told her about Sasuke leaving.

Kushina agreed that her sensei was a fool trying to force them into being a team when clearly there wasn't any team camaraderie to work with.

Eventually they drifted off onto the Kyuubi, who was very pleased with the change in Kushina's mind. She no longer chained him like a beast, but rather like a pet which he could live with.

And when Minato was given the Hokage hat, Naruko cheered the loudest...and immediately set the groundwork for Kushina's new nickname.

Minato would never live down the nickname Blondaime, which had haunted Naruko until the first repeat. Frankly she could live with the nickname if it meant that damn Madara had gotten his ass kicked.

Kurama rumbled in agreement. After the third repeat, a lot of things had changed and the two had finally patched things up enough that Naruko no longer had as much difficulty. It was the third repeat that gave her an almost full control of the fox.

It was also the only time she had ever managed to meet Nagato before the attack...and convinced him that Madara was up to no good.

She had nearly lost her eyes, but Nagato had decided to act on clan loyalty and with the help of a nearly exhausted Tsunade had given her the Rinnegan.

It had vanished when she went back for the fourth time, but she could still tell that something in her eyes was different. She had yet to unleash the doujutsu since she didn't have a clue how to activate them.

Considering that it was a very odd combination of Sharingan and Byakugan with a few extra abilities, there was a chance that she could turn them on and off. She had spent the fourth repeat trying to do just that.

* * *

Naruko couldn't help her reaction when she saw the five-year old Itachi. She cooed and rustled his hair to his annoyance. It was hard to believe he would grow up and kill his clan.

If she did things right, that would never happen.

And Madara would get his ass kicked when he tried to take advantage of the weaker seal the day Kushina gave birth.

At least this time she didn't have to work her ass off just to get back at the level she was at, since her body had remained at the same age she had attacked him at.

And since this time Obito wasn't going to be his new body, there was a chance that he wouldn't be able to do that damn time jutsu on her.

It surprised her how the bane of her existence (originally Sasuke, then Kyuubi and finally settling on Madara, the undead pest) could end up being so much like her they were practically brother and sister. They even had the same issues with their team. The only difference being that Minato was a hell of a lot better teacher than Kakashi had ever been.

At least this Team 7 could work together under normal circumstances and the fan girl wasn't a useless waste of space.

Kakashi took little time getting used to his new Sharingan, though when word got out the Uchiha raised a hell of a stink. Even more so when he told them bluntly that he had no idea who the hell it had originally belonged to.

Eventually Naruko allowed him to send the Uchiha her way, and every time they tried to force her to tell them who it came from she fought back with the fact she _knew_ how to seal the Sharingan permanently and didn't give a damn who she used it on.

About the only Uchiha who would talk to her civilly anymore were Itachi, Mikoto and of course Obito. Fugaku she hissed at like a cat.

Of course that didn't stop the oh so subtle attempts to capture and kill her by the Uchiha Elders. They didn't try to kill her when she was at home asleep (only an idiot would attempt to kill a girl in the same house as the new Fourth Hokage and his girlfriend) but they did their best to have her killed during missions.

Right up until the point when October 10th came around.

* * *

Naruko was by her mother's side every step of the way, having helped a few people bring their children into the world, like Hinata-chan and Ino-chan. Hinata had married Gaara (in an attempt to foster stronger bonds between villages) and Ino had married a rather amusing ROOT agent named Sai.

Naruko still missed her friends and godchildren. It was the reason why she always tried to pair them up during the repeats.

Right after Kushina had broken her hand, again, she managed to push out her new child. Since Naruko was already alive and in the village, they decided to keep the name they had agreed on but would call the baby 'Naru' instead to keep them apart. It wasn't like anyone could tell the difference.

Rin was about to hand Kushina her new daughter when Naru stiffened. Kurama had been quiet the entire time, as this was the day his favorite partner had been born and he didn't want her to become a still born.

Madara had arrived and he planned to unleash the Kyuubi.

He didn't expect to find a full on hanyou who was already pissed at him and ready to rip him a new one if he came anywhere near the red-head or her new child.

Naruko could be quite terrifying when she went hanyou, no matter how cute she had looked. It was something that baffled Jiraiya every time she did a repeat.

Something about how the Kyuubi chakra was so laced into her own that she was no longer fully human. It certain explained why she never suffered the nasty side effects of the demonic energy when she went bijuu form.

As long as it meant she could pwn Madara once and for all, she didn't give a damn. She _liked_ foxes!

"How interesting. I was lead to believe Kushina was the jinchuriki. How strange that my...sources...were so mistaken," he said amused.

"Fuck off you dried up old has been. You've manipulated people long enough. Hashirama was a better ninja then you'll ever be," sneered Naruko.

He glared at her.

"How is it that you are aware of who I am and aren't afraid?"

"Simple. I don't give a flying crap that you are the founder of Konoha. You're a washed up old geezer who can't survive without stealing bodies. I bet it must have pissed you off when you realized Obito and his team survived," said Naruko smirking.

"I'd wondered how that happened. For that I will take great pleasure in killing you," he snarled.

"Let's play, old man!"

What happened next was a clash of wind, fire and a lot of kunai and expletives. It surprised Madara how much the girl hated him when he had no idea who the hell she was. Once she realized that, and the fact that his Mangekyo wasn't nearly as strong as before (she had studied the body jumping technique and suspected Orochimaru got his originally from the Uchiha, because that would explain a hell of a lot) which suggested he had recently acquired that body.

She pressed even harder and he attempted to use the Sharingan on her. It was a well-known fact that the Copy Wheel Eye could manipulate the bijuu.

Too bad for him Kurama and Naruko had spent the last repeat training to break just that. The implanted Rinnegan from Nagato, before she was sent back and her eyes returned to normal, was just the thing she needed to break that control.

Suddenly she felt the shift in her eyes as the Rinnegan finally activated. Madara's surprise was gratifying, to say the least. More so when he became confused as to what her new eyes could do, since he had never seen anything like it before.

When he finally displayed something akin to the rather irritating vanishing trick, which had always irritated her something fierce because it was hard to land a blow on him, she really let him have it.

Madara didn't expect her to appear right as he let the technique go, or for her to land a solid hit. What shocked him was the amount of KI she was producing at him.

She nearly ripped his arm off with her claws!

* * *

Minato watched his daughter in shock. Her eyes had become like ripples in a sea of pale blue, and he would have thought she had the rinnegan if not for the coloring.

He knew Kushina didn't have that doujutsu and he had something entirely different. So where did she get it from? He quickly went to check on his wife, and found her cradling their daughter protectively.

"Minato, it's the one who she's been hunting. She's letting him believe I'm not a jinchuriki!"

He could see why Naruko had taken the credit. She was more used to fighting Madara and Kushina was weakened from giving birth. At least he knew now that her assessment of the Kyuubi was correct, because from what he could tell the fox hadn't even stirred once.

Suddenly there was a wave of horrible Killing Intent, and it felt like a demon. Minato looked outside the cave and saw his daughter going Nine Tails on Madara, who was barely holding his own. The man had become little more than a shade after all these years, always jumping from one body to the next.

Much like Gaara had done during her first ever Chunin exam, Naruko allowed the fox to vent his rage at the man.

Shinobi all across the village watched the show in shocked horror, thinking the demon fox had escaped and was now attacking them. It took a while for Sarutobi to realize it wasn't even looking at the village, only at the one that was attacking it. In fact it seemed to be trying to keep the man far from Konoha.

Finally, the demon fox scored a hit that sent the man flying, and even Sarutobi could tell that the hit had been too strong to continue.

The fox seemed to shrink in on itself, before fleeing the village and hiding in the forest of death.

No one noticed Naruko running out of the forest and back to her parents.

* * *

Shinigami-sama, it seemed, had a sense of humor. Kushina and Minato's new daughter (it was now common knowledge that Minato's wife was Kushina, since the Kyuubi had made it easier to release it and not have a big uproar) had bright crimson red hair and blue eyes. She also had the same whisker marks Naruko had.

Naruko cooed over her baby self, even if the hair color was wrong. Then again, the only thing she had of her mother was a book she had finally found after the first repeat and her personality. She looked too much like Minato.

As far as the village was concerned she was Minato's younger sister with a recent Uzumaki ancestor. The only ones who knew who she really was were Sarutobi, Minato, Kushina, Kakashi, Rin, Obito and the one who administered the blood test.

Naruko had to admit, she liked the change.

Naru-chan gurgled and wrapped a pudgy finger around her older self's long slender one.

Kushina still couldn't believe Kyuubi had punted _the_ Madara Uchiha all the way to the Valley of the End.

What Minato wanted to know was what Naruko had meant when she said that Madara had orchestrated Obito's death. By the time she was done explaining what had originally happened and how she had stopped it, Minato was in shock. Obito, more so.

Because Obito knew for a fact she wasn't joking about the possession. What the Uchiha clan didn't tell others was that Madara _did_ have that power, and to be considered as a new body was an honor. But when he heard about all the crimes Madara committed in his body, Obito was upset.

Finally they all decided just to hit Ichiraku and deal with it all tomorrow.


	3. Appearance of Itachi

"I hear that the Kazekage had another kid. They named him Gaara," said Minato.

"Oh-ho! Redhead right?"

"How did you know?"

"Gaara was like a brother to me. He has the first one, and he eventually married my best friend Hinata. Those two got along surprising well, especially with all the jokes they made at my expense," chuckled Naruko.

"So, should I expect any more people to be dragged back here?"

"The only person who ever got stuck in my repeats was me. If the others ended up with the same problem, I've never heard of..."

Her reply dropped off as a familiar swirling vortex appeared, and she was among those who rushed to see who it was.

Without warning a body dropped out of the sky. It was one she recognized immediately, and she jumped up to catch him.

"OOF!"

The person she had caught had a mesh shirt, black jeans and wore a hitai ate that fell. She swiped it before anyone saw that the symbol had been slashed.

Once he was safely on the ground, she heard a familiar set of complaints. Complaints she had let loose _every_ time Madara had dropped her into the past.

"You may as well let it all out...Itachi."

Sharingan red met rippled blue, and he passed out once his standard complaints had been let out.

* * *

Naruko had managed to keep the Uchiha far away from the mystery person, since she knew very well Itachi might snap and kill Fugaku for all the hell he put him through as a kid. Mikoto was fairly safe, because she hadn't pushed Itachi that much.

When he finally woke up, he found Naruko grinning at him.

"So I'm not the only one that pest has thrown into the past," she grinned.

"No. But that event was set in stone, so I had to reenact it every bloody time. After a while I just didn't care anymore. What year is it anyway?"

"Oh, roughly a few months after the Fox was supposed to be set on the village. Madara was _pissed_ when I punted him to the Valley of the End," she said cheerfully. Itachi's eyes widened, though they were really unfocused.

"What?"

"Apparently he sent me back to the point where your cousin Obito was killed and I prevented his death. Right now we have two choices. Allow things to go their natural course...or really piss off Madara and stop the repeats. Oh, and get you a new pair of eyes."

"I don't need..."

"Itachi you can barely focus on me and your Sharingan is off. Your eyesight's shot to hell."

"I can still see some colors..." he grumbled.

Naruko tutted at him and unsealed a pair of Sharingan. Itachi stared at them and then at her in disbelief.

"So that's where they went the fifth time. I thought that mummy got them again."

"Hell no! You think I would pass up a chance to study the Sharingan and block that damn thing from happening? I swiped as many as I safely could and kept them sealed on me at all times. Hell, the only one that isn't in my control is the one I gave Kakashi."

"You gave Kakashi a Sharingan?"

"He still lost his eye, and I had a lot of spares. Can you think of anything that would piss off Fugaku more than to find out that his eye ended up in Kakashi? After all the fuss he made about it?"

Itachi couldn't help it. He laughed, long and hard. His father's eyes, which had been stolen right after he had been killed, was now in Kakashi Hatake.

He had heard during the fifth repeat that someone had gone in after he had knocked Sasuke out and stolen every pair of Sharingan they could get their hands on. He had assumed it was Danzo, but the culprit hadn't used a chakra scalpel.

He never expected it to be Naruko's doing. Then again during the second repeat when he had gone after her, she had been a medic nin that didn't use her chakra to perform surgery.

"So why did the old geezer keep dropping you off?"

"I kept trying to kill him during the attack on Ame. For some reason he tends to send me back to the day the Kyuubi attacked."

"Well he was only off the mark a few months this time. Though I do wonder why you came back in your older body and not your child one, because I know there is a younger Itachi running around."

"Possibly because you're around in your teen form as well. From what I can tell I did lose a few years because I was in my twenties when I was thrown back. And now I'm roughly 18 again," said Itachi.

"Meh. So here's my question Weasel boy. Do you want to deal with Madara alone or should we tag team and beat his ass like a drum?"

"I'm tired of dealing with him. Let's kill him together, Naruko-chan."

Naruko held out her fist for her standard agreement, which was the fist bump ritual. Itachi did so, with a little issue of where to aim his.

"Since we're gonna tag team that bastard, just call me Naruko. And once I get Rin in here, I'll have her transplant one of the Sharingan pair I have here so you can see again. And I know it will give you that rather irritating pair of eyes."

"How are we going to do my background?"

"Easy. We'll just claim that you are the oldest son of a Sharingan user that died recently and decided to try to use an untested jutsu to get to Konoha. This user is the same one I retrieved the eyes from in an attempt to buy my way into their ranks, since it's well-known that the Sharingan is from Konoha. Any idea what we should call this unknown?"

"Kodora."

"Kodora? Small Tiger? So we'll say it was a girl?"

"It's been a few months, hasn't it? It's unlikely they'll be able to tell who it originally belonged to without removing the eye."

"True. Anyway, rest up and tomorrow we'll give you a new set of Sharingan so you can see properly again."

* * *

A week later Itachi was out of the hospital and officially assigned as Naruko's permanent partner. He had impressed Minato when the man learned how loyal he was to Konoha.

Though he could do without having to listen to the Uchiha elders again.

Since he had to wait two weeks before being allowed on missions (even though Kakashi quickly adapted to the new eye, he was still stuck on sick leave until his body could adjust properly) Naruko and Itachi decided to kill time by comparing their repeats.

* * *

(From here on out it's mostly flashbacks. _Italic_ for Naruko, **Bold** for Itachi.)

_Naruko, when she woke up to find herself in her genin body with only the things she had on her during the battle, cursed so well that the ANBU watching her apartment actually took notes. They never thought to ask why she was cussing so early in the morning._

_Later they would all be staring at her because she went to the Hokage and they had a closed meeting that had him on edge._

_(Time Skip Graduation)_

"_DAMMIT! Why do I have to deal with the Emo and the Pink Banshee?!" said Naruko loudly._

_Iruka looked at her un-amused. While she had exposed Mizuki and passed with the rest of her class, she had been acting oddly for a week now._

_The other two were less happy. Sakura had been furious when Naruko called her useless and Sasuke looked ready to kill her when she said he had a brother complex._

_Though she did wonder why Itachi actually drew odd designs in the cooling body of his clan. Last she remembered, he just killed them and moved on._

_When they were given to their sensei, she thoroughly enjoyed the look of horror on Kakashi's face when she stole his Icha Icha and then proceeded to mock him with it._

_He really wasn't happy when Naruko managed to switch his Icha Icha with some Magical Girl story._

_Since he had no idea what she did with it, and the book was getting old anyway, he read it. He was left gaping in absolute disbelief._

_It was a Magical Girl Hentai...with a lot of tentacles and no plot holes. Kakashi was hard pressed to find any spelling or grammatical errors._

_When the test was over, he waited for Naruko while the others went to eat a large lunch._

"_Where did you find this?"_

"_Hah! Knew you would enjoy that more than the error ridden book the Pervy Sage wrote!" said Naruko triumphantly._

"_Pervy Sage?"_

"_Jiraiya of the Sannin. That man can't write to save his life," said Naruko flatly._

"_Naruko-chan...how did you know Jiraiya is a Pervert? Or that he wrote Icha Icha for that matter?"_

_Naruko smirked, and released blades of wind to shred the ropes. Then she held up a single hand...and Kakashi was hard pressed not to faint. As it was, he was very glad he wore a mask at all times._

_Naruko _knew _the Rasengan and he knew for a fact no one had ever told her how._

"_Where did you learn that?"_

"_The same place I learned Jiraiya is my godfather, Kushina and Minato are my parents, and what really happened to Obito Uchiha," she said._

_Kakashi was hanging on her every word now._

"_I'm from the future Scarecrow."_

* * *

**Itachi woke up and realized immediately where he was. Cursing rather strongly under his breath, he noticed that his sight was back. He had pretty much lost it when he turned 21...though the party Kisame had thrown for him made up for the fact. Who knew the crass Shark nin was a fun drunk?**

**The first thing he did was test his eyes. He still had the Mangekyo. The next thing he did was check the date.**

**So he was in his ten-year old body? By the time he was twelve the coup was almost in full swing. **

**He had long since come to terms with his part in killing off the clan. The real question was how was he going to save his brother? Sasuke had become a traitor and worse yet, a willing pawn of Orochimaru.**

**Itachi had a grim smirk as he considered the illusions he could inflict on the bastard.**

**Once he took stock on everything he had on hand (surprised to find he had everything he had taken with him, including his Akatsuki cloak to his amusement) Itachi decided to really annoy Madara. He knew there was nothing he could do to stop Madara at this point. The ancient relic would realize he had thrown the boy into the past and kill him before he had a real chance to do anything. So he decided to go an alternate route.**

**Tobi was a pain in the ass ever since joining. Time to use that against him.**

**(Time Skip Massacre)**

**Itachi decided to try to at least keep Sasuke from joining Orochimaru. He didn't show the boy how he killed everyone he ever cared about. He showed him what Orochimaru did to boys under fifteen.**

**He didn't learn until later that his trick had succeeded...and that he had inadvertently driven his brother into Danzo's hands. Since he didn't want Sasuke to become a ROOT agent, Itachi challenged Tobi and got him to throw the teen back into the past.**

**It still didn't work.**

**Right when he was about to give up hope, he heard Naruko curse so well that he knew something was up. A private meeting with the Hokage that left him rather shaken only confirmed his suspicions.**

**Naruko had tried to beat Madara and failed.**

**And he knew Naruko better than most. She would never give up until she saved Konoha. Perhaps now he would have a chance to save his home.**

* * *

(_Third Repeat_)

_Naruko felt like crying. Twice she had gone up against Madara and twice she had failed. This was the worst repeat, because she had been thrown back right to the point where the Hyuuga had lost Hizashi. During the last repeat she had run away from the village during the Uchiha massacre and hunted down Tsunade. The blond was beyond surprised Minato and Kushina's daughter was so interested in regular healing without chakra._

_(Not nearly as surprised as the Hokage was when he found out where she had vanished to.)_

_Naruko was so annoyed at Madara that when Itachi killed the clan (she had memorized the date so she could steal the eyes this time around and hopefully find a way to block the Sharingan) she took her rudimentary surgeon's kit (it was one Tsunade had gotten her when she proved to be a natural at healing without chakra) and a large amount of jars filled with stasis solution for external organs and went to work._

_The solution and jars had been a bitch to get, but it was worth pretending to act innocent as to where it went missing. The ANBU was looking for months for the culprit, especially when the mortician told the Hokage that all activated Sharingan had been taken from the corpses soon after they were dead._

_After that, she noted that the Kyuubi was restless._

_She laid down a month after the theft and went into her mind._

_'What Fuzzy?'_

_**'I want to offer a truce. We both don't want to deal with the repeats again and we hate the Relic with a passion. I will help you in any way I can if it means we can kill that bastard.'**_

_'And what is in it for you? You've been nothing but trouble since that pervert managed to get me to meet you!'_

_**'There is an old saying. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." And I know you would like nothing more than to murder him in the most painful way imaginable at this point. It was his fault your parents died, not mine.'**_

_'What?!'_

_**'Madara broke the seal and forced me to attack Konoha when all I wanted to do was leave and never return. If he hadn't used that damn eye of his, your father would be alive and you wouldn't have had me inside you.'**_

_'That... Alright Fox. But how would this agreement work?'_

_**'Find the scroll on chakra chains. I am sick of this damn cage. I will...tolerate a collar but that's it. In exchange I will give you chakra boosts whenever you need it and lessen the pain of the poisoning when you activate the cloak.'**_

_'You can stop the pain?'_

_**'It will involve giving you some of my blood and turning you into a partial demon. But the benefits will be worth it. Though I would recommend covering your nose. It will boost your sense of smell past that of an Inuzuka hound. Oh, and cats will hate you on sight.'**_

_'Let me think about it first.'_

_Naruko left her mind and three weeks later found her mother's scroll on chakra chains. Once she mastered them she went into her mind and replaced the cage with a loose collar. The Kyuubi had been so pleased that he finally told her his name. From then on she called him Kurama instead of Fuzzy...unless he made a comment to annoy her._

* * *

(This is the current time skip for Itachi, and explains why he was sent to the same time period as Naruko.)

**Itachi was bored. He had gone into the past seven times, and by his count two more than Naruko. He knew that she had definitely crossed Madara because her past kept changing.**

**First time around, Sarutobi died by the Sound Four killing him since Orochimaru couldn't.**

**Second time, she went missing after he killed the clan and was found a few years later with Tsunade as an accomplished medic nin who didn't use chakra. Third time, the eyes of his clan went missing and were never recovered, and Naruko went missing again only to reappear years later as the richest shinobi in the Elemental Nations. This time around she was in the BINGO book before she even went to Wave as Anko's apprentice and holder of _three _separate summoning scrolls and could go to five tails without getting chakra poisoning.**

**Itachi went up against Madara, not realizing he had done it in the same place as Naruko had a month earlier. Had he actually been paying attention and still had his sight, he would have seen the signs of battle and the taint of the Kyuubi chakra.**

"**How amusing, the little Weasel believes I will let him win. How many times have you done this brat?" sneered Madara.**

"**Six," said Itachi bored.**

"**Perhaps this will be your lucky number seven," cackled Madara, as he threw the Uchiha into the past again.**

**Itachi immediately noticed something was up, because there was a tang to the vortex that had never been there before. It took him a moment to recognize it, but once he did he knew something would happen. The last thing he saw was a flash of blond and orange before passing out.**


	4. Girls need Lovin' too!

The Fox and Crow. That was their nickname among the ANBU elite.

Ever since Itachi's appearance, Naruko and her new partner had been taking harder and harder missions. Their teamwork was impeccable, and many teams requested them since they were able to work with practically anyone and they always managed to get the really good missions.

Some complained, until they found that Naruko had learned when to approach the mission desk or board to nab them. By the time her younger self was three, she had already amassed a reputation among the village.

However there was a bit of tension that very few noticed between them. And during the second girl's night out (lead by Kushina) with Anko, Naruko, Kushina, Mikoto, Hitomi and Kurenai (Anko had been invited by Naruko, and by extension Kurenai who idolized Kushina and the others) Naruko hit on the one sore spot with working with Itachi.

"It just sucks! Here I am, stuck repeating various events and not once have I ever been asked out on a date! And now I'm working with one of the hotter jounin and still nothing! How's a girl supposed to get any love around here?" complained Naruko.

Kushina nodded sagely.

"It was a real bitch getting Minato to take a hint the first time around. But I can't see why no one hasn't asked you out yet."

"The only people I'm close to and near my age are either A) like family to me and likes someone else, B) is a total prick and my rival or C) wants to use me because I happen to be one of the best looking girls and a total powerhouse that can gain fox ears on command. Not to mention working with Jiraiya off and on for a year..."

The other girls nodded sagely. Working with Jiraiya did tend to give people the reputation of a pervert. When it was girl, it just said you were open and most likely to be very kinky.

And it was common consensus that Itachi, the mystery jounin who appeared out of nowhere in the village (and had apparently mastered the new Sharingan eyes Naruko had given him in less than a day, to the anger of the Uchiha who had no idea who he was) was one of the hottest young jounin in the village. The fact that he could use the Sharingan (which everyone assumed was just a fluke) so well only made him a better catch.

Though Naruko was _still_ fending off demands from the Uchiha and the council as to exactly _HOW _many Sharingan she had on her. She had alluded to the fact she had more than ten, but less than fifty. Hearing that was enough to anger the Uchiha, because there weren't that many missing clan members.

And all attempts to find said scroll (which they knew had the eyes) were met with frustration.

This was because of a simple trick she employed. She had a triple sealing method. One was the generic seal, Two was the Blood Seal, and Three was the Chakra-specific seal. Getting past the first was easy enough. Getting a sample of blood, hard but doable. Copying her specific chakra signature?

Not going to happen.

"What's a girl gotta do to get some lovin' around here! We have needs too, dammit!" cried Naruko with anime tears streaming down her face.

The married women sweatdropped while the younger kunoichi (who were only there because Naruko knew of them and suggested it) nodded in agreement.

Anko couldn't get laid either because of her past association with the newly minted traitor Orochimaru (who had been busted by Naruko almost a week after Minato became Hokage) and since Kurenai was so close to her (Best Friend in fact) she couldn't get a date either.

Too bad Asuma was with the Fire Guardians, or Naruko would have started to push those two together and hopefully help one of the few Kunoichi willing to train the demon brat in the arts only females could use.

Kushina suddenly had an evil idea...and it didn't take long for Mikoto and Hitomi to start cackling evilly with her.

If Naruko wasn't so annoyed with her predicament, she would have started to back away in fear at the look in the women's eyes.

* * *

Itachi walked into his new apartment (which he shared with Naruko as his roommate), took one look at the sight before him, blinked, and walked out of the room and stabbed himself with a senbon before walking back into the room.

His new eyes weren't deceiving him. Naruko was in fact sitting on the couch with nothing but a sheer nightgown (almost transparent!) with a large plate of pocky and mochi (his two favorites) watching a movie that she knew he would like.

One 'kai' later, and Itachi was still having trouble with the sight before him.

What Itachi didn't let anyone know was that he _was_ attracted to Naruko. He always had been ever since he figured out that she was in the same position he was in, yet she never let it get to her.

He had always been keeping an ear out for her, even before the first repeat. Every time, she got back on her feet and tried another tactic to beating Madara. Not to mention the physical attraction any straight male would have for her. But he was too professional to let those feeling show.

However with this display it would be a trial getting through the movie without letting her on to this fact.

Too bad for him Naruko had other plans.

Naruko sat there, and hid a smirk as she saw Itachi's reaction. He didn't react too badly, but then again she did spend a _lot_ of time around Anko Mitarashi who was a bit of an exhibitionist. It stood to reason that she could care less if a guy saw her practically naked from the waist up.

(Not that Minato would dare let her do such a thing. Talk about overprotective, sheesh!)

She noted with joy that Itachi's eyes did have a tendency to stray quite often and she pretended not to notice. Her reputation as being oblivious didn't hurt this. She pretended to rub against him, noting with great amusement that Itachi would stiffen up and appeared to count mentally in order to calm down. Halfway through the movie he was a bundle of nerves.

About three-quarters of the way she pounced on something she had noticed.

"Care to explain the hard on, Weasel boy?"

The deer-in-the-headlights look was so damn funny she was having great difficultly not laughing. The fact he had been trying to edge off the couch and head towards the bathroom for the past fifteen minutes hadn't escaped her notice either.

"I can explain..." he said hesitantly.

"Save it. Now there are two options Weasel boy. One is you either act on your natural urges...or I let Kushina know you were too much of a damn coward to do anything and get Mikoto to give you the Talk. Your choice."

Itachi was trapped and he damn well knew it. And that particular talk had been mortifying enough the _first_ time he had to hear it from an equally embarrassed Fugaku. Hearing it from his mother would be a hundred times worse and he would honestly rather fight the Kyuubi bare handed and naked than go through that _again_.

By the time the credits rolled Itachi and Naruko were finally taking a step forward in their relationship. They had been dancing around each other for months now and there was a betting pool as to who would jump the other first.

Odd were on Naruko, amusingly enough.

* * *

"Kushina-nee, you rock."

"It worked?" she cackled.

"You better believe it worked! A few subtle moves and he had a hard on about three-fourths into the movie! I caught him before he could flee to the bathroom and gave him the choice between acting or dealing with Mikoto-nee!" said Naruko gleefully.

"Oh that is priceless! What look did he have on his face when you caught him?"

"Nara-male-captured-by-troublesome-wife number three!"

(Which in normal terms means deer-in-the-headlight look.)

Kushina howled with laughter.

"How did you get him?"

"I pointed out that yes, I noticed he had a hard on and that he had better do something about his 'natural urges' or I would throw him in the deep end with his own mother. The look on his face! He almost looked like he was prepared to fight the Kyuubi buck ass naked before he would even contemplate not following my suggestion."

"From what I understand Fugaku was the one to give him the _Talk_ last time. And no teen wants to hear about that sort of thing from their mother!" cackled Kushina.

"Unless they traveled with Jiraiya and didn't know their mother anyway," snorted Naruko. Kushina had sat her down for the talk, only for the two to debate hentai books instead.

Minato had been torn between mortification or killing his old teacher for exposing his daughter to the red lights district.

He had no idea Naruko already knew what went on in there since she lived right across from it and knew all the girls from the best brothel in Konoha by _name._ It was where she learned to garden, apply make up, and do her hair.

* * *

"So you two _finally_ got to it? It's about damn time!" said Jiraiya.

"She trapped me. Thank god Hokage-sama refuses to let her join the seduction division or she'd have them eating out of her hand by the end of the third day..." muttered Itachi.

"So how did she get you?"

Itachi gave him a bland look.

"Ask her, she'd probably give you better details."

Jiraiya cackled as he left and went to do just that. When Minato learned the latest _Icha Icha_ was based on his daughter's seduction of her teammate, he nearly had a coronary.

Naruko and Kushina merely laughed their asses off.

* * *

Minato was currently banging his head against the wall. Why? Because seven years after the incident with the Kyuubi appearing (and for some reason NOT attacking Konoha) Naruko had begun to help her younger self with her jutsu. Naru was a natural at manipulating chakra...and unfortunately for Minato, Naruko had chosen to help the girl with her henge first.

Specifically her first creation, the Oiroke Jutsu, which Kushina enjoyed springing on him without notice during council meetings. While it did make for a wonderful distraction, it also gave most of the males there a good idea what his _wife_ looked like under the clothes.

And now his seven-year old was pulling it on the teachers for the hell of it. All because her older self had taught it to her while cackling like the new special jounin Anko.

He could still see people shivering at the thought of Anko with an accomplice...and the way Naruko practically ripped those who tried to separate them a new one just because of Orochimaru.

Anko practically worshiped her for the simple fact Naruko happened to know the counter seal for the crude Earth Seal Orochimaru placed on her...and didn't hold the man against her.

Oh, and because she enjoyed forcing people to team with a chunin by the name of Maito Gai and making them suffer his flames of youth rants. The insane cackling over the victims sent everyone who heard it immediately into therapy.

The fact that Naruko found Lee (who surprisingly enough had been an orphan BEFORE the Kyuubi incident as it was called) and immediately introduced him to a very enthusiastic Gai had only made things worse.

She knew Lee couldn't mold chakra worth a damn, and the two had practically been father and son anyway. This just made it official.

When he couldn't take it anymore, he let Naruko and Itachi go to Ame to confirm reports of someone with the Rinnegan.

The repercussions of that mission would cause Madara to swear as violently as the times people brought up his battle with the First Hokage.

* * *

Naruko practically dragged her boyfriend to the first ramen stand in Rain. Itachi put up with it for one reason only...he liked ramen too. Just not as much as his girlfriend did.

Within half an hour, someone from Ame came to see why two foreign shinobi had come into their village. And it took less than an hour for them to be summoned by the new village leader.

Why? Because Naruko had sent a message through the Ame shinobi for Pein personally.

_'Either you get off your high horse and meet with us, or the Seventh Path is going to be missing his balls.'_

Needless to say Pein was rather eager to meet this kunoichi who knew where his seventh Path slept.

Nagato blinked when he met the blond girl and her boyfriend. She...was nothing like he expected. Though to be fair, he was expecting someone with either bright red hair or a serious extortionist.

Instead he found a bubbly blond with blue eyes who was more interested in why he wasn't dating his assistant yet. Konan was more amused than he was at this point.

"Before I have you two killed, I want some answers. How do you know about the Seventh Path?" he demanded.

"Same way I know Jiraiya has a monster crush on Tsunade. We're from the future. Coincidentally, if you even think of trying to unite the nine demons to create the tenth, I will personally come and kick your ass, Rinnegan or not."

Nagato blinked.

"How do you know..."

Naruko decided that she had wasted enough time, so she activated her Rinnegan. To the surprise of Itachi, it could be turned off like the Sharingan. It was just that Pein in his time never bothered to because he didn't want to learn how.

"How...?"

"Long story short, the bastard in the mask who helped you kill Hanzo has a Sharingan that unfortunately can manipulate time. He proceeded to piss both of us off to the point where we're more than happy to kill his ass because of multiple repeats. Watching Jiraiya get killed four times is not my idea of fun," said Naruko bluntly.

"You mean Madara can send people back in time?"

"Yup. Oh, if you want, we can ship Danzo to you two for what he did to Yahiko. He doesn't have an Sharingan in him yet, though from what I remember he is taking some sort of gene therapy to get the Mokuton."

"Why are you telling us this? What's in it for you?"

"One, you happen to be my cousin believe it or not. Two, having someone who knows how to use the Rinnegan when I've barely started to learn how will help us both out in the long run against the ancient relic. And three, if we help get you on our side it will piss off Madara beyond belief, and that only serves to amuse my boyfriend and I."

"Wait, cousins?"

"Kushina Uzumaki happens to be my mother. And for some reason I inherited my father's blond hair instead of the Uzumaki red."

"That explains it. So you want to form an alliance between us to defeat Madara?"

"We're really, really sick of being thrown back in time. It was pure luck and a really pissed off Fox spirit that caused us to actually have a chance this time."

"This coming from the woman whose entire life is based on dumb luck...and who can walk into a casino and walk out with millions..." muttered Itachi. He winced when Naruko gave him a swift jab in the side.

"I can hear you as well as any Inuzuka, Weasel."

Konan looked at her friend. She really, really wanted him to go along with this. Madara gave her a bad feeling all around.

"What in it for us?"

"Contact with your remaining family, blackmail on your former teacher, and killing off a man who should have died years ago. Besides, his idea of peace is nothing more than controlling the world via an illusion."

"What?"

"His idea of peace is fake. He plans to use the Juubi to create a permanent illusion of peace and control the world. Something about the statue requiring the sacrifice of a live Uchiha with the Mangekyo Sharingan or something."

"It's the reason I kept trying to kill him," Itachi added.

"I will think about your offer. In the meantime, where will you be staying?"

"In either a hotel or just outside the village. Konan, if you want to hang out for some proper girl time away from the boys, I'm available," said Naruko.

The blue haired paper master grinned. She had been sorely missing girl talk.


	5. Unexpected Results

Konan, it turned out, was a better conversationalist than Naruko expected. On the plus side, the two managed to hit it off because Naruko did have an interest in origami. Unfortunately there weren't any interesting books on it in Konoha for some reason, which was why her first hobby was gardening.

Konan was really surprised to hear Naruko's name for Jiraiya. Or the one rule she always followed when traveling with him.

"Rule number one when traveling with the pervert: always bring a water proof camera and keep it on hand."

"Why?"

Naruko grinned evilly.

"Because the Pervy Sage gets into so many compromising positions that it makes it easier to blackmail him. Coincidentally I have unlimited bribe material for the Sage."

"Oh?"

"Take a look at these..." said Naruko grinning.

Konan took one look at the collection of _Icha Icha_ and grimaced. She had come very, very close to getting Pein to ban the books outright from Ame. Sadly the number of lonely perverts in the village blocked it.

Then she realized what was inside the books.

"Are these...?"

"Technically they haven't happened yet, but they are still embarrassing enough to get Jiraiya with."

Konan laughed, and the two chatted well into the night.

* * *

Itachi was getting drunk with Pein.

"So for the past what, six repeats, you were in my group?"

"It was both amusing and a nightmare. You could see gray hairs sprouting on your head, if you weren't cloaked in shadow all the time. Getting Kakuzu to quit killing his partners was a headache and a half, until you eventually stuck him with a Jashinist named Hidan. And don't get me started on Deidara and Sasori's rants about art..." said Itachi.

"It couldn't be nearly as bad as dealing with mission reports and the council..." said Pein, though he didn't sound too sure about that.

"Nagato, to be honest you often swore it was like dealing with a bunch of demon-fueled, spoiled, annoying as hell children when we really got bad. You sometimes swore that if it hadn't been for the fact you were paying them and the damage it would cause to Rain, you would kill them without a second thought. Out of the entire Akatsuki, only two of the ten were ever safe from any real punishment."

"How bad was it?"

"Deidara blew up the base every time he was here, Hidan was beyond annoying with that damn religion of his, Kakuzu was such a greedy miser that it drove everyone nuts, Zetsu wanted to eat everyone, Kisame was an annoying drunk, Sasori bitched about being stuck with Deidara, and Madara was acting like a complete idiot that drove everyone to murder."

Nagato Uzumaki winced. That did sound like his own private hell. Managing a village was bad enough...dealing with childish, overpowered shinobi with those kind of quirks was even worse!

"To be honest we were all wondering why you never made a move on Konan. Inari knows she was willing," commented Itachi.

Nagato looked at him owlishly.

"As Naruko often says while reading her hentai... sometimes you have to live a little in order to see the big picture. And from what I know of you and Konan, it seems you both need some 'stress release' that Jiraiya would not only approve of, he'd be crowing about before using it in his next novel."

Nagato looked at his drink speculatively.

"I must be drunk out of my mind, because that actually makes sense."

* * *

By the time they left, Nagato and Konan were looking much happier and a hell of a lot more relaxed. Naruko got a scroll on the Rinnegan (Nagato had been surprised that yes, you could deactivate it) and a scroll on origami from Konan.

Itachi gained a new friend to complain with about their girlfriends.

"So, where to next Naruko?"

"Kumo."

Itachi paused.

"No and _hell_ no."

"Why not?"

"Two words: Kira Bee. There is no way in Amaterasu's holy flames I am going near there when he's around."

"And the fact that they have a thing for acquiring bloodlines...?"

"Annoying but workable. Can't we go piss off Deidara instead? Or better yet find a way to royally annoy the Kazekage?"

"You mean besides hooking him up with Hinata-chan?" cackled Naruko. Man had Suna been pissed, even if it had done wonders for inter-village relations.

"I would rather go and piss off the Uchiha Elders by showing the fact that I am better with the Sharingan than they ever will be than a major village," said Itachi.

"Oh, now _there's _an idea! I've been dying to challenge those pricks (no offense) for years now since they found out I had their precious eyes!"

Itachi mentally went over what date it was, then paled.

"You do realize that it's very, very close to the year that I killed the clan right?"

"You do realize that no one has ever successfully seen through my henge, right?" she countered.

"Point. Who do we blame it on?"

"I say we cast a die and let it chose who gets blamed."

Itachi watched as Naruko pulled out a single dice and then the two made up which person would be which number.

Orochimaru -1

Danzo -2

Madara -3

Kabuto -4

Random nin -5

Recast -6

Naruko threw the dice up, and Itachi caught it.

"Three."

"Madara it is then! Though how we'll pull it off when it's _his_ clan that's being killed I have no idea."

"Who cares. If they try the same crap as before, they are going down."

"Yes, but this time my dad is alive. You know he was never one for bowing down because of a bloodline."

Itachi winced. He had been selected as bodyguard during some of those meetings, and the looks Fugaku gave him had given him a sincere desire to kill his father right then and there.

The talks weren't going well, and it was unlikely they ever would.

"Now how are we going to get that old fossil's chakra signature so that the blame properly falls on him...?" asked Naruko.

In the end it was tragically easy to get Madara's signature. It was Itachi who pointed out that it was his chakra mixed with their own that caused the repeats. Naruko had smirked and looked for the Uchiha-chakra that Kurama hated so much.

The fox waved at her and enjoyed his private recordings of her nights with Itachi...the old kitsune was a pervert that could put Jiraiya to shame. Sometimes she wondered what would happen if she actually let the fox write that porn series like he wanted to put Jiraiya out of business.

Fortunately for the Toad, he had yet to piss her off to the point she planned to ruin him.

_'Ah...there it is. Mwahahaha...let's see how you like being called Kinslayer you damn relic!'_ grinned Naruko. She knew for a fact that Madara had been egging the clan on for years. If he hadn't, then things might have smoothed over and everything would have calmed down. Danzo was just as bad, with all the 'demands' he made of the clan.

It all culminated to Itachi becoming a Kinslayer to protect his beloved home. No way in hell was Naruko letting that happen again. Not when she could pin the blame on some other idiot.

* * *

Naruko went to Tsunade. For the past month her stomach had been feeling off, and she had thrown up twice. And to top it all off, her beloved ramen tasted funny.

After the second bowl she went to Tsunade to find out what the hell was going on.

The woman grinned at her evilly.

"I have good news and bad news. What do you want to hear first?"

"Bad," said Naruko. It was always better to get the bad out first.

"The bad news is that your father isn't going to let you out of the village for a while and Itachi will be in hot water."

"And the good news?"

"You're pregnant."

"WHAT?!"

"Honestly, with the way you and Itachi go at it I'm surprised you haven't come in sooner," said Tsunade. It wasn't a secret the two were as active as rabbits.

Though there had been an interesting incident where Naruko walked up to her boyfriend wearing a full-on bunny girl outfit...

* * *

"What did Tsunade say?" asked Itachi, eating his dango.

"...I'm pregnant..."

Itachi choked.

"Please for the love of all that's holy tell me you're pranking me for something I can half remember."

"Tsunade confirmed it. Oh kami, now he's going to be even more protective!" whined Naruko.

Itachi didn't need to ask who she was talking about.

"You do realize that once he finds out he's going to make us get married, right?"

"...We could always announce it early and spring the truth on him _after_."

"Agreed. That should keep both of them from killing us once they learn the truth."

Naruko and Itachi spun up a sufficiently romantic proposal (which Itachi promised to spring upon her later under pain of death by the Fox) to make the girls coo with delight as preparations for the wedding of the Fourth's younger sister and the mystery jounin who wielded the Sharingan better than any living Uchiha.

And as it turned out, the Uchiha did come up with a settlement this time around.

Mostly because Minato had, in a fit of inspiration, brought in the Hyuuga and Naruko to back his side up.

Outnumbered and outmatched, Fugaku reluctantly backed off when Naruko said that if he wanted to find out where she got the eyes in her possession then all he needed to do was continue trying to harass the Hokage simply because the Senju were more respected than the Uchiha.

Fugaku agreed to back off if she told them where the eyes came from.

An hour behind a secure seal later, and the male left pale and wide-eyed.

Finding out that if he continued to plan the coup, an assailant would wipe out the clan down to two children and one ancient traitor was not how he had envisioned that meeting.

Learning that if he did keep up with the overthrow of the Hokage's seat, Danzo would have twelve Sharingan implanted in his arm and use it to take over the seat had also helped her case. The fact she wasn't lying didn't hurt either.

In exchange for telling them where she got the Sharingan, Itachi agreed to a blood test in order to prove her case.

Naruko would have as well, except the proteins in her blood from the pregnancy might throw it off.

Fugaku had given Itachi odd looks for a week when he learned that the jounin was in fact his now 13-year-old son who was recently elected an ANBU under his older self.

Young-Itachi found his new captain fun to be around, not to mention relaxing. His new sempai seemed to know exactly what was on his mind and how to calm the pacifist boy down after a mission.

Not to mention how easily Naruko and Itachi's younger self hit it off.

Unknown to them, Anko had started a running bet as to whether Naru and the younger Itachi would end up with a marriage contract, considering the fact that their older versions got along so well.

This was not hurt by the fact Minato was seriously considering that option as a way to pacify the Uchiha. Fugaku, when he learned who the two actually were, was also considering that proposition. At the very least it would make ending the Senju/Uchiha rivalry a hell of a lot easier.

* * *

A month after the wedding, Minato learned why it had been so hurried. Needless to say he became as protective as an Inuzuka over a new pup.

Naruko was _not_ pleased. All of a sudden, she was relegated into dealing with all the refugees of the Mist until their Civil War was over and a new Mizukage was elected to deal with the mess.

And if there was one thing Naruko hated nearly as much as Madara the relic that just refused to die and being around Danzo the multi-eyed bastard it was paperwork. Even if it was easily conquered by her army of shadow clones, she felt a bit of revenge was in order.

Itachi, damn him, had started to take more missions outside the village to avoid his stir crazy new wife.

Kushina had joined forces with her daughter to make Minato miserable, because it made the red head amused beyond belief to see Minato cry as the paperwork multiplied like rabbits on crack before him because of his daughter.

Naruko refused to tell him about the shadow clone trick and she scared all her assistants into keeping their mouths shut about the matter.

Several months pass and when the baby is due, the entire village breathes a sigh of relief. Naruko on a sugar-rush was bad. Naruko when pregnant and confined to the village by her 'brother' because he was being overprotective was a demon worse than the Kyuubi.

Unlike Kushina, no special preparations were made for unwanted visitors. This was because a pissed off Naruko was a demon a class of her own, and anyone stupid enough to try anything would face her hormone-driven wrath.

Itachi, the poor sap, had to be in the room with her as she damn near crushed his hand into a pulp. She did allow him to have earplugs though.

That was more than Minato was allowed by Kushina.

It took ten hours, several bouts of swearing from Naruko, and a lot of pushing, but eventually the newborns were out.

Newborns, plural. Naruko's status as fox hanyou (who were notorious for being _very_ fertile) had allowed her to give birth to a pair of twins, a boy and girl.

The boy she named Kurama, the girl she named Nadeshiko.

* * *

Madara had, in a fit of spectacular poor decision-making skills and suicidal attacks, went to kidnap one of the twins.

He had the bad luck of running into still-raging-with-hormones Naruko who wanted to know why the twins had yet to cry for the nightly feeding.

The ass-kicking from the attempted kidnapping was worse than the one he had received by Hashirama Senju and his wife. The fact that Itachi had come across it and had promptly burst out laughing his ass off had not helped him. Or the fact that Minato had heard the commotion and helped his daughter kick him back into the Valley of the End...again.

Danzo wisely chose not to try anything with the twins, lest he suffer a similar fate.


End file.
